When chocolate is not enough

Photo by Tofros.com from Pexels

Chocolate helps, but it is not enough!

Eating chocolate or having a drink in the evening as a treat because we need to pamper ourselves is not the solution. It’s just a temporary pleasure, but tomorrow everything will be the same, over and over again. Can you live only for a few treats? It’s nice to be gluttonous sometimes, but it should be a joy, not a compensation; otherwise, it won’t be enough, and it won’t be satisfying.

When I was depressed because I was overwhelmed by work and family, I followed this advice: I made a list of what I like about my life and what I don’t like.

It sounds silly, but it works!

The most important thing is to avoid keeping it all in your head because it gets bigger and heavier there. You have to write it down on paper. Black on white, to ponder and verify the real weight of your thoughts.

Practical exercise.

journaling

Take a sheet and draw two columns, one for good things and one for bad things; then put everything in order of priority.

Concentrate on the good things first and decide to spend more time every day to each of those things.

Now focus on the bad things, next to each one write whether or not you can change it. There are some things we can’t change, unfortunately, such as the loss of a loved one.

Now draw a thick line on all those things that you can’t change. Just a neat, straight line; we physically erase them from the paper, and the head.

Now, look at the negative things you can change, and start looking for ideas or courage or time to make changes.

I identified my work as the element that caused me the most anguish and anxiety for several reasons. First of all, because it occupied me for at least 8/9 hours a day, every day, and this prevented me from spending quality time with my children and my family. The idea of watching my children grow up with other people while I was in the office filled me with frustration and generated enormous feelings of guilt. The work that I loved had become a tremendous burden and was no longer a satisfaction for me; it was just an obligation. I felt dissatisfied and unhappy. And above all, I was tired and unmotivated.

So I started asking myself these questions: Why are you unhappy? What do you want to achieve? What are the expectations that led you to disappointment? Do you feel guilty? Do you complain about something every day?

Do you really want to waste your life by complaining about it every day?

Finally, you have to ask yourself the most crucial question: Do you want to became a better version of yourself? Do you want to change your daily routine?

Life slips away while we’re busy doing all the 100 things we have to do every day and while we endlessly chase time. This thought has frozen me. I want to live happily and authentically. That’s what I want.

So I found the courage to change job, easier said than done. Oh, I know! But I knew that change was vital for me. I couldn’t procrastinate further.

I did my research and realized that Digital Marketing offers excellent opportunities to make money online, change the meaningless routine and improve life for the better! It takes time and dedication, you have to learn all about it, but the good news is that it is possible! The most crucial thing is: avoid to do it alone, otherwise, you will feel lost and abandoned in the cyber jungle. You need a supportive community to rely on and inspiring mentors who follow you step by step.

I have made it, and today I am an optimistic and positive person again. Now it’s your turn, don’t waste any more time lost in the usual negative thoughts and complaining. Find the courage to create a new life 🙂

Book your Free Workshops Here and start your new journey.

For Women To Lead The Change

I do believe that none of us should be forced to follow precise models dictated by society to live. On the contrary, I believe that each of us must follow his or her own intuition and heart to be happy and fulfilled. In particular, women, in my opinion, must become aware of the current lack of equality between men and women in the workplace and must change things.

Have a look at this chart:

Women will have to wait 217 years before they earn as much as men and are equally represented in the workplace! This is ridiculous.

Gender parity is closest in areas of health and education, but significant gaps in economic participation and political empowerment continue to endure across the world.

To give you an overall idea, I’ll show you two more charts featuring the gender employment gap in the EU and the gender pay gap in the US.

OECD=Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development

One of the main causes of this phenomenon is motherhood, in fact, the most significant differences appear in this field. Life changes dramatically after the arrival of children and mothers bear more responsibility than fathers because this is the system dictated by society.

When you get back to work after having kids, you have to manage and overcome the unspoken assumptions about how you changed and what you’re able to accomplish. You always have to demonstrate what your current skills are; you have to show that you’re motivated and confirm that your caregiving experience is not a problem from the employer point of view. And it always seems to be a war on pernicious stereotypes.

For this reason, many women do not return to work, see for example this chart representing the UK.

But I wonder why I have to choose between work and children. I want to be a mother, and I want my economic independence at the same time, and I want to be professionally fulfilled. Why should I choose?

Working from home for the same company and still following the usual 9-5 hours is not a real option. Shortening hours reduces pressure, but flexitime and home-based jobs offer no real benefits. I tried and failed. I worked for five years as a full-time project manager in a home office, hoping to enjoy my children. It worked for a while, but then the difficulty and complexity of the work and the stress drained me.

Thus I started to search for information, and I discovered the digital marketing, a huge world of opportunities. Digital marketing offers you the opportunity to work independently, to gain your own financial and personal freedom. It provides the possibility to work as many hours as you want and when you want. And above all, it offers the opportunity to live an authentic life, which means (to me) being able to live every day happy and fulfilled, aware that I have the power to manage my TIME, outside the chains imposed by society.

I encourage you to do your research and invest in your training and to undertake this journey with me, my mentors and especially with all those women who want to lead the change.

Make your first step and book the Free Video Series Now to learn more.

Mom Guilt

home working moms

Nearly 90 per cent of mothers feel guilty. Why? And How can we overcome this feeling?

First of all, let me reassure you that Mom Guilt is real and very intense. So intense that can consume us.

Mon Guilt is the feeling of doubt, anxiety, uncertainty, the idea of not being good enough or not being able to do enough.

Guilt is a painful feeling and underestimating it is dangerous.

When I think of my life before my children, it feels like another life! Or even another person’s life. I was focused on my personal and professional realization, on my life as a couple, my friends, my travels, my books and despite the daily difficulties I felt serene.

When I met my great love, I started to think about creating my own family, having children to love and raise. My life was full of love, and this love was so strong that I wanted to conceive a new life. So our twins arrived, the most intense joy of my life, the most absolute and unconditional love.

From that moment, however, my life has changed dramatically, probably I was not prepared; indeed, I was not ready to welcome two newborn babies at the same time! And it created a fracture, a very distinct boundary: my life before the children and my life after the children.

The Big Gap

depression 2 by Kat Jayne
Photo by Kat Jayne

My life has become immensely complicated, I couldn’t afford not to work, and so I stayed in the same company working full time. I started to juggle between family and career and discovered this new feeling: Mom Guilt. An overwhelming feeling!

At first, I hired a nanny for my children while I was at work, then as soon as they turned 15 months, we enrolled them in the nursery. My children in the care of other people and me in the office, I felt guilty!

My job as a project manager required a lot of mental energy and every hour I spent in the office, every task I did was always “tangled” with the thoughts of my children far from me. Will they have eaten? Will they have gone to sleep? Are they quiet? And at the same time, I was thinking, “This email is not accurate, this business plan is not effective”. And I felt guilty because I thought I wouldn’t give my best to work.

Thought eternally divided between work and children. I felt guilty about not doing my best in the office, and I felt guilty about not being a good mother.

I missed a school event because I was working, and I felt guilty. I lost a work meeting because my child was sick, and I felt guilty. I missed my son’s sports competition to meet a customer, and I felt guilty. The list is endless.

I was exhausted for years, drained. It took a lot of reflection and evaluation, but then I finally understood: I want to change my life! Because I want to be a happy mother and because I also want to work, I don’t want to give up my economic independence. 

I discovered that many mothers quit their job because they could not overcome this feeling of guilt. According to Pew Research Center survey the number of moms who want to quit their full-time job is increasing, from 21 per cent to 32 per cent between 1997 and 2007, indicating that mommy guilt is getting the better of many American women.

The New Opportunity

woman thinking and working. Photo by Kaboompics
Photo by Kaboompics

I genuinely think that if you want to achieve your goals, you must prepare your mind to see the opportunities.

I always hear moms complaining about their job, because they spend so many hours away from family; and when they can finally are back from work, they have to take care of kids, house etc. etc. The feeling of being guilty is overwhelming and the “me-time” is equal to zero.

Tiredness, fatigue, unfulfillment, guilt, the idea that life has become a vicious circle, and that we need the weekend to rest and feel happy, or a holiday (and then another weekend and another holiday): these thoughts are our new addiction. Does it make sense?

If (or when) you can see that you have a problem, then you start taking actions to make a change. And so I did.

I thought that the only change that makes sense was changing the job. This is the main reason why we are suffering, after all: extended working hours, unfair environment, challenging people around us.

If our dream life and our actual life are not aligned, how can we be happy?

The only way out is getting ready to see the opportunity for a change. Learning, learning and investing in ourself. I think this is the only authentic way to live, and this is what I did. I invested in myself and started to learn and launched my business.

There are pros and cons, of course. Cons = you have to use every minute available of your time to learn; you have to work hard because it is not easy; you have to be ready to invest money in your education; you have to believe in what you do and don’t give up at the first problem.

Pros = you are finally free from the 9-to-5 working model; you are free from a toxic working place; you are free from unequal career options; you are free from an unfair wage (let’s talk about gender pay gap….); you are free to spend your time exactly how you decide to use it: with your kids, with your spouse, with your friend, with yourself! You are free to work when you want and from where you want; you are part of a community of people driven by the same values and goals; you can connect with like-minded persons who will inspire you, motivate you and help you. You can use your passion and turn it into a profit; you can grow as a person and find your happiness, your way, your identity. You can help other people to grow and discover their real, meaningful life; you can change this world a make it a better place for your kids. You can support your family and make money more sustainably. You can finally enjoy your dream life

Think about the vast potential you have inside you. You need to be aware of this and take the very first step out of that comfort but dangerous zone: Join Me.

Find the courage and book your Free Workshops Today to learn more.

PS: I know you want to give yourself a chance because after all, you know you deserve it; so don’t procrastinate and take your first step today! I can help you with this choice, just let it go.

Change your life

Do it.

Wear that dress too tight

Let your hair down.

Get up and dance.

Make a fool of yourself more often.

Find reasons to laugh.

Make love.

Create something beautiful.

Speak up!

Know your worth.

Don’t apologize for your magic and stop hiding your light.

Give yourself love.

Forgive.

Make room for the unexpected.

Stop waiting for the right time, do it now.

Fuck what people think of you; Because in the end, you are the one you’ll have to answer to all the things you didn’t say, the people you didn’t love, the things you never did and the places to didn’t go!

Do it now.

BY BROOK HAMPTON

If you want to be successful in life, you have to listen to your inner voice.

If you are not happy with your work, change it.

If you want to spend more time with your children, yourself, your husband, change your daily routine.

If you want to live an authentic life, find the courage to change things, starting with the job. How much time do you spend in the office every day? Exchange your time for money… is it gratifying? In the evening when everyone is asleep, and you go to bed, tired, and you think that you will have to do everything tomorrow again, like today, like every day, how do you feel?

Is that what you want? No, I know the answer is NO.

Then say it loud, not only in your mind but give voice to your thoughts. I did it, and now I’m damn good.

Follow me on my journey. Change your life and have the courage to live. Do it now!

Book your Free Workshops Now