Nearly 90 per cent of mothers feel guilty. Why? And How can we overcome this feeling?
First of all, let me reassure you that Mom Guilt is real and very intense. So intense that can consume us.
Mon Guilt is the feeling of doubt, anxiety, uncertainty, the idea of not being good enough or not being able to do enough.
Guilt is a painful feeling, and underestimate it is dangerous. I have read an engaging insight here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201505/5-ways-deal-guilt-tripping-mother
When I think of my life before my children, it feels like another life! Or even another person’s life. I was focused on my personal and professional realization, on my life as a couple, my friends, my travels, my books and despite the daily difficulties I felt serene.
When I met my great love, I started to think about creating my own family, having children to love and raise. My life was full of love, and this love was so strong that I wanted to conceive a new life. So our twins arrived, the most intense joy of my life, the most absolute and unconditional love.
From that moment, however, my life has changed dramatically, probably I was not prepared; indeed, I was not ready to welcome two newborn babies at the same time! And it created a fracture, a very distinct boundary: my life before the children and my life after the children.
The big gap.
My life has become immensely complicated, I couldn’t afford not to work, and so I stayed in the same company working full time. I started to juggle between family and career and discovered this new feeling: Mom Guilt. An overwhelming feeling!
At first, I hired a nanny for my children while I was at work, then as soon as they turned 15 months, we enrolled them in the nursery. My children in the care of other people and me in the office, I felt guilty!
My job as a project manager required a lot of mental energy and every hour I spent in the office, every task I did was always “tangled” with the thoughts of my children far from me. Will they have eaten? Will they have gone to sleep? Are they quiet? And at the same time, I was thinking, “This email is not accurate, this business plan is not effective”. And I felt guilty because I thought I wouldn’t give my best to work.
Thought eternally divided between work and children. I felt guilty about not doing my best in the office, and I felt guilty about not being a good mother.
I missed a school event because I was working, and I felt guilty. I lost a work meeting because my child was sick, and I felt guilty. I missed my son’s sports competition to meet a customer, and I felt guilty. The list is endless.
I was exhausted for years, drained. It took a lot of reflection and evaluation, but then I finally understood: I want to change my life! Because I want to be a happy mother and because I also want to work, I don’t want to give up my economic independence.
I discovered that many mothers quit their job because they could not overcome this feeling of guilt. According to Pew Research Center survey https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2007/07/12/fewer-mothers-prefer-full-time-work/ the number of moms who want to quit their full-time job is increasing, from 21 per cent to 32 per cent between 1997 and 2007, indicating that mommy guilt is getting the better of many American women.
The new opportunity.
I started looking for information and found that digital marketing offers enormous career opportunities. I can work from home when and for how many hours I decide to work, and at the same time, I can follow my children! Of course, you have to prepare and invest in training, but it is worth it because the sense of freedom and achievement and fulfilment is incredible!
Finally, I have what I wanted: time for my family, my children and myself. And I also have a stimulating and profitable job.
I invite you to reflect and ask yourself if you are satisfied or if you feel guilty too. If you want to get rid of this feeling, look for a way out, change your life because it is possible!
Follow me and I will guide you step by step in the path of change.
I know you want to give yourself a chance because after all, you know you deserve it; so don’t procrastinate and take your first step today! I can help you with this choice, just let it go.
Find the courage and book your Free Workshops Today to learn more.