Mothers’ Fatigue

Mothers’ fatigue is a chronic condition. A mother’s fatigue is a cry for help!

Mothers’ fatigue is sneaky because it is the side effect of a great love, the price that you pay in exchange for such powerful and intense feelings that otherwise you can never even imagine.

The profound tiredness of mothers is endless, and people think it’s normal, but it’s not!

Modern society doesn’t help us to be moms. Family itself has changed: In our recent past, two or three generations ago, the family was large, sons and daughters often stayed to live with their parents or in the direct vicinity; it allowed grandparents, uncles and aunts, to be an active part in raising and managing children. Since the first days after giving birth, the granny or sister or sister-in-law was always close to the new mom to allow her to breastfeed, to rest for a couple of hours, and to have a meal freshly cooked. Women already worked in the fields or the factories or the offices, but the big family remained a support, the grandmothers took care of the little ones and sisters, and sisters-in-law took turns in looking after them.

Today everything has changed, families are getting smaller, we have children when we are older, people live far away from their hometowns, and this has fragmented and destroyed the support that came to the new mom from the family.

Nowadays, moms work full-time, and they’re alone taking care of the kids. Dads finally have a significant and active role today, but they also work full-time and are away from home for many hours a day.

Besides, as if it were not complicated enough, society judges us in our being a mother, often criticizes us for our choices and imposes on us the model of the “perfect mother”.

Most importantly, our ideas have changed, we are moms AND we want to be successful in working life, we don’t want to choose one or the other, rightly so, and this creates a critical scenario!

We are tired because we want to be good at work; because we want to be good mothers; because we want to keep fit and follow our interests. Therefore, we always give 100% in everything we do, because we think otherwise that we are not doing enough, that we are not up to it, and also because everyone thinks that it is normal to be exhausted. Still, this tiredness consumes us and annihilates us!

It’s not normal, and the sooner we understand this, the sooner we can act, make changes and finally be satisfied women and joyful mothers.

Stop and think about your tiredness

You are fatigued and feeling overwhelmed? Make yourself a priority. It’s difficult, I know, but it is vital. Start by satisfying your basic needs, the ones you guarantee your children, and never to you: good food, good sleep.

When we are in charge of little ones, we are always in high awareness. Physiologically, this is exhausting. It is vital to get at least a few hours of sleep, ask family and friends for help without being embarrassed. You have to arrange your schedule so you can rest. Walking even just 30 minutes a day helps to relax. Drinking good herbal teas helps to rehydrate and oxygenate the body. Stop relying on caffeine and sugar to give you the energy you need to get you through your day. It is so wrong. Drink more water instead, and exercise as often as you can.

Adrenal fatigue: what is it?

While you work, you feel like your brain is all foggy; you forget details; you think you are less sharp and proactive than before. You continuously need coffee and sugary snacks to go on; you gain weight more quickly than before, you are impatient or irritable, and you always get sick. You feel hopeless, disconnected from the others, depressed.

It is adrenal fatigue, and it afflicts busy working moms.

You juggle work and family and loads of responsibilities, errands, cooking and so on. You manage all these things every day. But eventually, your body claims its price and tells you in many ways that this lifestyle is unacceptable. If you keep ignore it, you’ll get to the point of burnout, precisely what happened to me.

The solution

This fatigue is treatable and curable!

You need to be courageous, it is difficult but, I promise, it is worth it.

First step is to understand that this fatigue is not normal. We are not victims of our children, our family or our work. We can stand up and raise our voice.

We have to change our mindset: it means that we have to cut all the ties to toxic thoughts, people and places.

When I started to change my mindset, I began to see things from a different perspective, and it eventually guided me to change whatever I didn’t like in my life, one thing at a time. I know it sounds easier said than done, and I am still working on this myself, but once started you won’t stop.

I started to read books about positive thinking; to listen to relaxing music; to practice yoga; to go for meditation walking; to improve my eating habits. At last, the most significant change I made was quitting my job and start my own online business.

This change led me very quickly to a recovery. It also led me to feel grateful and willing to help other women to start their journey out of that depressing black hole.

Just think about this: When you wake up, do you feel already exhausted? Do you think you are a joyful mom?

If so, take action, do not endure until the depression swallows you.

To be a joyful mother, it is necessary first of all to become a conscious, fulfilled, balanced woman.

I hope you will join me making the changes you need to improve your life by gaining good health, positive energy, happiness and fulfilment.

Change is the Key. Have courage and do the first step now; learn more and register for the Free Workshops Here

Kintsukuroi

Kintsukuroi (“golden repair”), also known as Kintsugi (“golden joinery”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.

When a ceramic pot or bowl would break, the artisan would put the pieces together again using gold (or silver or platinum) lacquer to create something stronger, more beautiful than it was before.

Kintsukuroi is a way of living that embraces every flaw and imperfection. Every crack is part of the history of the object, and it becomes more beautiful, precisely because it had been broken. People are the same way.

Let me tell you this story:

Once upon a time, in the Far East there lived a great emperor, in a magnificent palace, which was stocked with the richest of goods. During Spring, there were royal visits: kings and princes used to gather to admire each other’s treasures and exchange beautiful gifts.

The emperor was excited because he had a new bowl to show to his friends, specially made for him by the finest of artisans from the finest of materials. But a few days before the royal visits, he found that the bowl was broken apart into a hundred pieces and he was desperate. He shared his profound sorrow with his son, the prince, and they talked all night.

The next day, the ministers saw that the cabinet of treasures had been broken into, and the pieces of the broken bowl, along with the new golden diadem (appositely made for the investiture of the prince), were gone!

No one knew for sure where the thief had gone, but they saw him running off towards the prince’s apartments. There, the door was locked, and everything was quiet. The prince himself was nowhere to be seen.

The day passed. They couldn’t find neither the thief or the prince, the prince apartments remained locked, although smoke could be seen coming out of the chimney.

Next morning, when ministers and emperor were ready to welcome the kings and queens, they opened the treasure cabinet to show their possessions and found the precious bowl back in its place, whole again, but glistening with veins of gold where the cracks had been. It was even more beautiful than before! And, next to it, there was the prince’s crown: it was smaller, just a slim band now, but beautiful and perfectly executed. A smile of secret understanding passed between the emperor and the son, whose scarred hands showed his hard work.

The bowl, broken and repaired, became even more refined thanks to its “scars”. This art teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride. Exactly like our souls.

Resilience

Similarly to the broken bowl, when we are struck by misfortune, adversity, or when we find ourselves living an unsatisfactory life, what we have to do is learn to put our wounds back together again. Pick up the pieces and fix your illusions. What is broken can be put back together again, and when you do, don’t hide its fragility because it has become a visible strength.

The essence of this life is to live. Living is not the same as surviving: there is a substantial difference.

When we live, everything is more intense: the colours are brighter, the kisses are more passionate, the food is tastier, and the body vibrates with every emotion.

Living is reserved for the brave, as it involves making decisions, getting out of the comfort zone and seeking growth, actively.

When we live intensely, we take more risks and accept that we are vulnerable and make mistakes. It involves great emotional strength because we will begin to receive pressure and conditioning both from others and from ourselves. Living intensely requires coherence and authenticity because a life of facade is illusory and falls at the first adversity. Living authentically is essential to be happy and to make our children, our family, happy.

Sometimes, when everything we valued and built up over the years falls to pieces, we can see new opportunities and possibilities that we would have never seen if suffering would not have hit us. When we face our fears or illusions, we discover that we are stronger than we imagined, that we could stand and live.

How many women hold onto dead or dying relationships? How many women are unfulfilled in their workplaces? How many women are overwhelmed by career and family juggling? They hold back from stepping away from that toxicity for fear of failing, or for fear of people recognizing the brokenness therein.

Don’t stop living because you’re afraid of hardship and change. Our soul, like our body, is made to repair itself. The question is: Are you ready to enlighten your life? Are you ready to abandon your fears and walk the path of change to improve your life and be fulfilled and happy?

I answered “Yes!” and started this path. I hope you too find the courage to think out of the box and change.

Your first step is to register for your Free Workshop Today

Bibliography:

Kintsugi. (2015, September 28). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 14:28, October 3, 2015, from https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Kintsugi&oldid=683186968

Kaufman, S. B., (2014) Scientific American; Beautiful Minds. Are you mentally tough. Retrieved 14:35, October 3, 2015 from http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/are-you-mentally-tough/

Kushner, H. (1981). When bad things happen to good people. New York: Schocken Books.

Von Culin, K., Tsukayama, E. & Duckworth, A. L. (2014). Unpacking grit: Motivational correlates of perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(4), 1-7.

Tedeschi, R., Addington, E., Cann, A., & Calhoun, L. G. (2014). Post-traumatic growth Some needed corrections and reminders. European Journal of Personality, 28, 350-351.

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1-18.

Why walking is so important

walking with kids
Walking with kids in the Italian Alps

“There’s no sadness that, as you walk, it doesn’t fade and slowly melt away.
(Romano Battaglia)

When we walk, our foot comes into contact with the ground, only to detach from it and return shortly afterwards, the rhythm is fluid and harmonious. Our mind also follows the rhythm of the moves and creates thoughts.

Walking together with children is a fantastic activity: it is free; it brings souls closer because they can chat with us; it makes them experience the effort of moving; it allows them to see the beauty of nature or even of a beautiful city; it gives them the satisfaction of having reached a particular place with their legs; it helps them to believe in their potential.

Walking with a friend or partner helps to feel in harmony, it implies a deep sharing of both body and soul.

Walking alone is an initiatory path, a way to listen to one’s thoughts flowing, to one’s body that requires proper movement. It is a beneficial form of meditation.

Meditation while walking is a common practice in many cultures: it combines physical and spiritual exercise.

For example, the Toltec Shamans from Mexico practice the so-called “attention walks” in which, with special exercises of conscious direction of the gaze, one supports and directs the attention away from the continuous flow of thoughts that crowd the mind.

Another example is the medieval pilgrimage: pilgrims, on foot, walk and enhance spirituality which brings them closer to God. It is a journey for the spirit as well as for the body.

The most famous example is given by Zen Buddhism, which turned walking into a real form of meditation on the move.

Walking is an exercise for body and mind.

“Walking implies that with every step some aspect of the world changes and that something in us changes too.” (Italo Calvino)

Walking is an excellent aerobic exercise, able to set in motion a large number of muscles and is an activity that we can do easily without having to find time for the gym because we know that time is never enough!

If we walk with awareness, we will see that we will feel our movements better, we will understand the relationship between our body and the surrounding environment and we will be amazed by it! Try walking aimlessly for even 30-40 minutes a day, the body will be looser and the mind freer.

Don’t you find the time? Organize your daily commuting time adequately, maybe you can replace an errand done by using the car with errand done by walking, or you might take the children to school or the music/gymnastics/etc. lessons on foot.

Especially when we are upset and angry, walking helps us to find peace of mind, while walking we can calm our daily thoughts and worries. We can overcome anxiety and find serenity through the technique of mindfulness.

Meditation walking

woman-in-brown-sleeveless-dress-and-blue-jeans-standing-on-906106_Photo by Noelle Otto from Pexels
Photo by Noelle Otto

“Meditation walking means enjoying the walk, walking not to get somewhere, but simply to walk. The aim is to be rooted in the present and, be aware of breathing and walking, by enjoying every step. So we must shake off anxieties and worries, not think about the future, not think about the past, but just enjoy the present moment. We can do this by holding a child’s hand. We walk one step at a time as if we were the happiest people in the world. We walk all the time, but we usually do it running, and in this way, we leave traces of anxiety and pain on Earth. When we walk, we should do it in such a way that we only leave footprints of peace and serenity. We can all do it, as long as we really want to. (by Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step)

Meditation while walking is a fast and straightforward way to take care of ourselves. So here are a few simple steps to get started:

1. Become the master of your time.

I know, it’s hard to find the time when you’re working full time, and you also have to take care of your family and home, but it’s fundamental that we reorganize our time to dedicate at least 30 minutes a day to this activity. Set aside your phone, TV and computer for a moment, make time for yourself.

2. Enjoy nature.

Get out of the office, open the front door, get out of the car and look for nature around you, even a city park will do. Focus on your every single step and breath, perceive your surroundings and feel your emotions and sensations. Observe the environment around you and stop to admire a flower, a tree, a bee at work.

3. Be aware of your breath.

When you walk, follow your breath, try to observe it as it slowly enters and exits your lungs, observe your feelings. Feel how the breath acts on your body, try to perceive its flow and feel its deep connection with the rest of your body. This is awareness.

4. Walk slowly.

When you meditate while walking, avoid doing it at a fast pace. On the contrary, live the moment in all its sweetness, slowly, ideally savouring every single step. If we can see it, there is beauty everywhere. It is enough to slow down a little bit to admire the beauty that surrounds us.

5. There is no arrival, only the here and now.

We always think about the past or the future. Please don’t do it and don’t let your worries get in the way. Keep the awareness of the present moment, of the only authentic moment, the here and now.

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk, every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it…but by sitting still, and the more one sits still, the closer one comes to feeling ill…Thus if one just keeps walking, everything will be all right.”
(Bruce Chatwin)

Be inspired and walk through your fear, leave behind your resistance and embrace a new change. Learn more Get Your Free Workshop Here

CHASING TIME

time-Photo by Jordan Benton

Ever wished you could add a few more hours to your day? Well, I know the feeling.

Life is a breath of wind! Or else, the hours never go by. It’s incredible how subjective perceptions of time may change.

We often have the feeling that the 24 hours of our day are not enough to do what we have to do. Let’s analyze this perception; there are two macro groups: 1. your routine lacks good organization; 2. you are perfectly organized, but you work full-time and also have a family to dedicate yourself.

First case: lack of organization.

The feeling of not having time is triggered the moment we do an activity, and we are already thinking about the next one. The anxiety of being late or not finishing everything in time appears, and this generates stress and discontent.

To avoid this anxiety, just do a simple exercise, very dull at first but incredibly useful! Make a list of all the activities you have to do in the next few days and don’t leave anything out. Include also necessary actions such as preparing the lunch box for children or taking them to school, your hours at the office or cooking meals. Put every activity on the list and organize them in a table displaying a priority and temporal sequence from morning to evening. It is possible to make adjustments because the unforeseen events always exist, but it is necessary not to change or redo the list completely; otherwise, it will be useless!

Therefore, perform every activity without thinking about all the others! This is the first step to live better, every action is done with awareness and without stress, and even the most annoying things will have a meaning within the routine.

Many people think that making lists and following them is silly and useless, but it’s not true! Our life is a great artwork, and as such, it must be built, day after day, as a beautiful architectural project. If we don’t take every action seriously, we’ll feel like we’ve wasted time, and then we’ll believe we don’t have enough time, and we’ll eventually find ourselves chasing time!

Second case: full-time work and family.

Different activities mark your day; you have obsessively considered every detail and planned every action. Yet time is never enough for you. You have a rhythmic perception of your day, from awakening to the evening you have organized work, cooking, children’s activities, laundry, etc. However, you don’t know or can’t enjoy the time, and when you allow yourself to escape from work or family, you believe that time is stolen. Relaxing activities such as a run or an evening out with friends or a bike ride don’t give satisfaction because after all, there is this little inner voice that makes you feel guilty. At the end of the day, you look back, and you feel tired and dissatisfied, even though you’ve accomplished a lot of things. But nothing you’ve done has been fully experienced or is what you wanted to do.

Is there a way out?

I looked for it for a long time and found it. I badly desired to live my life authentically, and I began to analyze everything that prevented me from being happy. Happiness, for me, means dedicating time to myself, to my children, to my husband, by doing activities that I like such as travelling, cooking, reading, walking and even playing why not! Everyone will put their passions and interests on this list.

To get this precious time, however, you cannot stay still in the usual routine and do and redo the same actions, you have to make changes. And before making them, you have to understand what is necessary and useful to change. I have identified my work as the source of my dissatisfaction. Why? Because the long hours in the office prevented me from dedicating time to what is important to me. However, it is not possible to live without working! Unless you’re a rich heiress, then this article is not suitable for you. But other people know that having an income every month is essential to raise children and support them in their education and practical needs.

A new opportunity

person at work on internet

My research has led me to identify digital marketing as an excellent option for success. By taking this job, you can work from home, manage your working hours independently and thus enjoy more time for your family and yourself.

Digital marketing is a job, and as such, you have to learn and train professionally. You have to study and invest in yourself. The substantial change in life is profound and incredible. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s certainly possible! And it requires an act of courage.

The most significant advantage I had when I changed business and started working in digital marketing is TIME. This allowed me to change my daily routine. The reward of a life lived according to one’s desires is inner peace, a sense of happiness and satisfaction. I’m in this path now.

I feel gratified for my small and big work successes, and I feel gratified because I can be a better mother. I feel gratified because I can dedicate myself to my favourite activities: cooking is no longer a burden but a pleasure. Strolling along the beach or doing yoga becomes a moment of contemplation and gratitude.

If you feel the need to change your life, put yourself on the line! “Per aspera ad astra” the Latins used to say. It means: “If you go through hard challenges, then you can reach the stars”.

The path to self-realization requires a lot of effort and discipline; it requires courage because you have to get out of your comfort zone and get involved. But all this leads to true happiness.

And happiness is feeling alive when we pragmatically realize our dreams.

Discover HERE the best business to start to stop juggling career and family, have time for yourself and your kids, and become financially self-reliant.