Might lose the job? What to do.

  • If you are on unpaid leave
  • If you lost your job
  • If you are worried about losing your job
    Then, this article is for you.

As you know, right now, millions of people around the world are losing or afraid of losing their jobs. I hope you’re not one of them.

However, the probability that you are affected in some way is rather high since this is an ongoing global crisis.

In any way, I wanted to share a few tips inspired by Dan Lok; he is a famous businessperson and entrepreneurial influencer that I follow. He recently posted a video with some great tips and strategies to use if you are afraid of or just have lost your job. I hope it can help!

1 Cement Yourself In Your Current Position

If you still have a job, now is the time to be proactive and to give more. The aim is to Keep Your Income!

Communicate with your boss, or CEO, or leader, say that you want to work more and you are ready to take more responsibilities. Make yourself indispensable for the company so they would think twice before laid you off. Give value to your job and don’t be afraid to step up. Upgrade your skills or accept to do different tasks from the ones you used to do before the crisis. If you want to survive, you have to fight to keep your job. Normality is over, unfortunately.

2 Build your emergency fund

You need to have at least 3 to 6 months living expenses in cash. If you have savings, put them in a new place and do not touch them, it’s your emergency fund. You can also contact your bank and ask for a loan or increase your current loan, and then forget about it. Remember it’s for real emergency only.

3 Cut All Your Non-Essential Spending

To do that you have to go through all your expenses and delete the ones are not strictly necessary, starting from the current expenses. Make a list and go line by line, ask for each of them: Is it essential? Just keep grocery, mortgage, rent.. and put the extra money in your emergency fund.

4 Turn Your Spare Time Into Learning Time

It is time to invest in yourself and your knowledge, learn new skills. You need to understand that probably we will never get back to the normality and we have to be ready for the change. We are transitioning to a new era; this shouldn’t scare us; fear is necessary only as a trigger to step out of the comfort zone and make the change. You need to develop the ability to work from home, as a freelancer, as an entrepreneur, etc. And if you are a mom or a dad this would be even more complicated, I know that very well, I’m a mother of twins!

So start your journey, whatever you think it’s best for you, and never forget that the keyword now is LEARN!

Stay Safe!

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How To Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. (A. Einstein)

Have you ever thought about your beliefs? I have many times recently. And I have realized that it is not the events that happen to us that influence our lives, but rather the beliefs that we gain from interpreting what happened to us.

From birth, we have been taught how to behave, what rules to follow, what we must and must not do, what to say, and what not to say. This information has shaped our personality and behaviour.

However, some of these beliefs are inappropriate for us and even harmful: they limit us, weaken us or humiliate us. It is essential, therefore, to recognize harmful beliefs to learn to overcome them and to be able to believe in things that are right for us and useful for our future

What are beliefs?

There are three kinds of beliefs:

  • Mental Schemes
  • Generalized Beliefs
  • Personal Beliefs

Our beliefs are the conditioned perception that we have formed from the memory of situations of pleasure and pain. These memories are built on how we interpreted the experiences we had and how we lived them emotionally.

Our beliefs are assumptions we make about ourselves, others and the world around us. They are filters through which we judge, catalogue and interpret the world around us.

Our beliefs are the bricks with which we build our expectations. What we believe conditions what we expect from ourselves, from others and life.

Many people are limited by wrong beliefs, which stem from bad memories, fears, negative experiences.

It is therefore essential to understand that beliefs are not unquestionable, indisputable and incontrovertible facts. They are simply the conclusion of our interpretation or the result of what has been handed down to us and can, therefore, be changed.

We need certain beliefs to face reality at a given moment. Later, they may no longer correspond to our needs, but if we insist on following them, if we consider them sacred, they will create difficulties for us. They become an obstacle because they no longer correspond to the circumstances that have been created in our lives. What we must do is abandon them.

Beliefs shape our egos; influence every aspect of our lives; determine what we expect. They filter our perception of reality and guide our choices. Therefore, understanding how they condition our lives provides us with an advantage to regain harmony between our essence and our expressive and emotional capacity.

Lighted Candle_Photo by Rahul
Lighted Candle_Photo by Rahul

How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs

It is essential to understand that all limiting beliefs have a purpose. They’re there because they protect us from something. This “something” often manifests itself in the form of pain, suffering.

However, this does not mean that all our limiting thoughts have a reason to exist in the now. It just means that at the moment they formed, they had a positive intention, that of protecting us from pain. But they often do so in a misleading way. They protect us from immediate pain, but they lead us into even more intense suffering in the future.

To free ourselves from these thoughts, we must learn to ask ourselves a few questions:

  • What advantage do I have, at this moment, in clinging to this limiting belief?
  • What value do I receive today in holding that belief?

Following this analysis, we must, from time to time, abandon bad beliefs to make way for a new empowering thought. How? When we realize that the old belief no longer has excellent advantages, then we eliminate it. And we are ready to embrace a new belief. Easier said than done! True, but there is a way out.

How to Transform Limiting Beliefs

Most people analyse and understand what the limiting beliefs are, and then stop there. They think that the mere awareness of their perceptual modalities is enough not to be victims of them. A thought that is correct, but does not give the final solution.

Being aware of what is hindering us in life is the first step, the one that leads us to think about the world differently than before. However, our limiting beliefs have, over time, gathered numerous confirmations that justify their presence. We must, therefore, continue to work to untie so many deep emotional knots, it takes time and patience, and, above all, we must be willing to adapt to new circumstances and prepare for change.

Here are, in summary, the 9 points to guide us to this analysis:

  1. Set The Result To Achieve
  2. Put Your Limiting Thoughts into Discussion
  3. Consider the Consequences of Your Limiting Thoughts
  4. Decide What Your New Powerful Belief Must Be
  5. Strengthens Your New Powerful Belief
  6. Making a Final Decision On What Must Change
  7. Progressively Conditioning Your New Belief
  8. Make Room For This New Belief In Your Life
  9. Start Putting Your New Powerful Belief into Practice

Overcoming bad or limiting beliefs, therefore, means analysing and reconsidering our past. It means emptying our mind of the problems, and stopping thinking about them all the time. In short, it means locking these beliefs in the past; that’s where they belong! We shall work in the present, looking to the future.

If you are a free spirit and you are interested in self-improvement, claim your Free Workshop Series Today and learn more about the digital economy.

BIBLIOGRAFIA
Richard Bandler
Sabrina Bush

Is Fear Contagious?

the scream by Munch
The Scream by Munch

Sadness, joy, disgust, anger, and fear are the fundamental emotions of living beings. Fear warns us of danger and drives us to survival. When we face a threat, our body produces a hormone -adrenaline – which induces physical and mental changes and prepares us for action or non-action: flight or fight.

What’s scaring us today? Surely not the attack of mammoths, but possibly the loss of a job, a change of life or the loss of a person, and especially the Covid-19. The triggers of fear have changed, but bodily and mental changes and behavioural reactions remain the same as our ancestors when they faced a beast attack. Fear, therefore, has a usefulness for humanity. However, it becomes a problem when it is experienced exaggeratedly or out of context.

The psychological reaction to dangerous stimuli leads to a change in the way we think: new thinking becomes adaptive in that context, as it prepares us to face a threat. For example, when we are under particular stress, we become more focused on the problem, we focus longer and increase our problem-solving skills. Similarly, we will also feel a change in our emotions, such as being more irritable or tense.

The person with an excessive fear response to many situations begins to focus exclusively on what he or she fears, usually worrying that a problem has no solution or catastrophising it. Over time, a negative thoughts spiral develops, and they perceive people and things as a source of possible threats. Such negative spiral forms a vicious circle with bodily changes. In this way, stress remains continuously high, leading to an increase in discomfort and worries. This factor induces people to focus on adverse and insoluble events rather than positive ones.

Fear Is Contagious
Several scientific studies have shown that the human brain is susceptible to emotional contagion. We transmit emotions through the so-called mirror neurons: nerve cells that allow us to empathise with others and also absorb their bad moods, negativity, stress, fear and even panic.

Three Powerful Antidotes to Fear

  1. CALM
    Rationality allows us to reason in a sharp way, without excessive interference caused by fear and the moods of others. It will enable us to stop, think about what to do concretely, considering the best alternatives and knowing which sources of information to listen to understand how to act.
  2. LOVE
    When we are well, our body produces hormones that increase our well-being and counteract stress hormones such as cortisol. For example, when we do something that gives us pleasure and satisfaction, we create more dopamine, the motivation hormone. Therefore, we have to love ourselves and others, even with small gestures: a hug, a phone call, a game together, a walk – if you can do it at this time.
  3. EMBRACE CHANGE
    That is undoubtedly the fundamental point of the matter. Understanding change and accepting it is the difference between a life lived in terror and a life lived with awareness and meaningfulness, and after all, a fulfilled life.

How can we manage change?
We assume that, sometimes, change does not depend on us, as in the case of this pandemic. We can positively work on our minds.

Here are four exercises:

  • Accept what you’re feeling about the change. And ask yourself why it upsets you so much, look for the reason.
  • Realise that change is inevitably part of life.
  • Try to put the changes in the right perspective, looking for the bright side.
  • Accept the fact that humans, by their nature, are dynamic beings with adaptability.

At this point, we must take action so that we are not trapped in inactivity. In this way:

  • Manage the stress or discomfort caused by change by engaging in something that relieves the tensions you’re under: Keep busy!
  • Analyse the problem and talk to your partner, a friend, someone you trust.
  • Set goals and prepare a plan to achieve them, a detailed but also flexible strategy, because it is difficult to predict precisely this new situation in which we find ourselves now.

“There is nothing permanent, except change” (Heraclitus)

Acceptance, therefore, means facing a situation and seeking solutions; learning to live with the new condition in the best possible way and being happy with it. Attention: Never fall into the error of resignation! It is dangerous.

Acceptance means finding the balance to be happy with what we have to live; it means finding the formula to solve, improve, adapt, respect and see the positive side of the situation. It means understanding things as they are. Resignation, on the other hand, consists of living an annoying situation, because there is no other remedy left, making suffering as acceptable as possible and enduring what has to be lived. It is absolutely to be avoided.

That’s why acceptance means change.

Adopting a new perspective is always a launch into the void with your eyes closed. That’s why it’s scary, but any change can be an incredible win situation because it gives us many new opportunities.

The change in your life can happen in an instant, once you’ve decided to make it. As soon as you make a decision, you’re already creating the future.

However, the secret to making real change lies in persevering. With calm, with love, with determination, we make our plan of action and begin to build a new life.

I leave you only one practical cue to imagine your future in an era of profound and fast-moving change given by the Covid-19 pandemic.

The Fourth Industrial Revolution

A lot of people are losing their jobs. In China, 5 million people have lost their jobs in 2 months (January, February 2020). It is time to reinvent yourself and learn new skills and invest in yourself. Without fear but with awareness, we learn how to embrace change. A great option comes to us from the digital economy.

What is the Digital Economy?

The digital economy is the worldwide network of economic activities, commercial transactions and professional interactions that are enabled by information and communications technologies (ICT). 

The digital economy represents the macro universe that revolves around business innovation. According to the latest forecasts, the digital economy is cutting the market in two. On the one hand, there are companies and people that are renewing themselves, riding the digital transformation. On the other hand, there are all the companies and people that are failing because they are anchored to traditional logics.

I made this choice some time ago and launched my business. From the bottom of my heart, I recommend this choice, especially at this time. There are distinct advantages:

  • Working from home and at flexible hours: this is possible thanks to connection tools and information sharing platforms. You work independently and measure your success by achieving results. No toxic environments (unpleasant office, colleagues or bosses) and more productivity.
  • Overcoming the concept of Customer Care towards a Customer Experience concept: New strategies can be developed to involve the customer in all phases of the activity. Coaching and mentorship become new tools for professional and personal growth.
  • Zero time wasted in commuting to work, less pollution, saving both energy and money. The planet thanks and the body as well! At home, you can eat healthier and cheaper food.
  • Last but not least: working from home means enjoying your family, your human dimension. All you need to do is organise yourself well to get the most out of it, both professionally and family-wise. Loving your partner and your children without conditioning time is certainly what we all need. Finally, we will eliminate the weekend rush: when we can do what we like, we live the weekend every day. When I worked in the office every day, I felt like I was freediving from Monday to Friday: I struggled and endured to make it to Friday night. Then finally, the weekend and happiness. On Sunday night, the depression at the beginning of the new week. And on Monday… lousy mood. Has that ever happened to you? So you know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes I think this virus is a powerful signal from nature to make us understand how dangerous we humans are. We are destroying everything and especially ourselves. We need to reflect, rethink everything, reinvent ourselves, change, return to more sustainable rhythms. Without fear, let’s welcome change, let’s prepare and evolve!

Stay safe and take care.

Book your Free Workshop Series Here to learn more about the digital economy.

Spiralling Negative Thoughts? Learn how to stop it!

spiral-design-on-cloth-Photo by Frank Cone

Perception drives people’s behaviours every day.
Perception and reality are two different things; however, they are entangled in our mind: one generates the other.

Our mind is so powerful that it exerts constant pressure on our actions and emotions. Have you ever been in a bad mood without a tangible external reason? It all started with a negative thought that started crawling around in our minds. And that thought generated another negative thought and then another, until you find yourself angry, or depressed, or sad. As a result, you treat people around you without respect or aggressively, whether they are friends, colleagues, or family members.

The downward spiral acts very quickly, and the effects it produces are long-lasting.

There are four states of mind, which condition our life; only one is positive for us, and we must all learn to recognize and practically realize it.

1. The negative spiral
We are not happy in the present, and we have no vision of the future.
The more we create negative thoughts, the more these thoughts generate negative feelings and, in turn, influence behaviour in a negative way. We feel stuck and overwhelmed, and eventually hopeless, depressed.

2. The Current Reality Trap
We are happy in the present, but we don’t have any vision of the future.
The lack of goals means no growth and no motivation, so we can only achieve a superficial happiness. This happiness is not stable, and it is not sustainable in the long term. We will soon feel empty.

3. Stress and anxiety
We have a clear vision of the future, but we are not happy in the present.
We live disconnected from reality, our mind is absorbed in the goals or results we want to achieve, but we neglect the present. We feel stressed because we don’t see around us what is already in or mind and we feel anxious, we start to work quicker than the time.

4. State of Flow
We are happy in the present, and we have a vision of the future.
It is the most difficult objective to achieve, but we should all live up to it. It is the perfect balance. To conceive it, we can take some tangible action.

According to positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, we reach this state of mind when we are motivated, focused, pulled forward by big goals. Yet, we are happy and grateful for what we already have; we feel lucky.

He describes the mental state of flow as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away—time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”

Csíkszentmihályi describes eight characteristics of flow:

  • Complete concentration on the task;
  • Clarity of goals and reward in mind and immediate feedback;
  • Transformation of time (speeding up/slowing down);
  • The experience is intrinsically rewarding;
  • Effortlessness and ease;
  • There is a balance between challenge and skills;
  • Actions and awareness are merged, losing self-conscious rumination;
  • There is a feeling of control over the task.

How To Trigger The State Of Flow

We can follow a specific path to achieve the state of flow and to feel fulfilled and happy. What we need to do is to start working on our attention. Attention is “psychic energy”, and we have to let it flow. The very fact that we are focused on achieving our goal makes us happy and satisfied. I have often observed this in my children. Children are wholly immersed in what they are doing, a game, for example. The more complex the game is, the more focused they are, and immensely happy when they finally achieve the goal. Think of the children when they play with wooden constructions, and they have to make all the joints, or put rings in stakes, or think of Legos for older children. I see my kids hyper-focused and hyper happy when they complete the game.
Let’s learn from them! We can start by following this plan.

  • Eliminate All External and Internal Distractions

When we intensely focus for at least 10–15 minutes, then we into the flow state. We have to turn off the mobile phone and not access social media; close all unnecessary files or email tabs; free the table from unnecessary items; keep on the table only the ingredients we need to cook, and so on. We also need to free our mind from other minor thoughts, so let’s complete what’s going on in our head, such as making an appointment with the dentist; answering an email; washing dishes etc. anything that diverts our attention away from the primary task.

  • Work At Your Biological Peak Time

We said that energy is psychic energy, so to get the attention we need to be rested and energetic. Some people are more productive in the morning and others in the evening, it depends on our Cicardian cycle. Let’s learn to recognize it and make the most of it. If we are energetic, we will also have more willpower, and this will allow us to be more resilient.

  • Work On One Task At A Time To Reach Your Big Goal

Pick one specific task and start to work on it solely. It can be anything: writing an important email, preparing a speech, creating a new cake décor; styling a new dress etc. The task must be challenging but not too challenging. Start choosing “mild tasks” and then increase the complexity by time. If you work, all of a sudden, on a very challenging task, this will probably lead to frustration and stress. If a task is too easy, you’ll be bored quickly, and your mind will wander. This way, working one task after the other, will guide you through the journey to achieve the goal you set. When we start walking on this path, we need to have an unambiguous vision or purpose that we want to reach.

  • Nourish Your Body With Healthy Food

The ancient Romans said: Mens Sana in Corpore Sano. It means that if the body is healthy, then the mind will also be healthy and able to function efficiently. Let us therefore always stay hydrated, avoid sugary drinks but drink tea or infusions or green juices. We use food as gasoline and medicine for our body. We will receive well-being and health.

  • Work In A Quiet And Relaxing Environment

It’s essential to immerse ourselves in tranquillity. It is difficult to do it if we work in an open space office; however, we can use some tricks. For example, we can use headphones and listen to relaxing and meditative music; we can put plants around us; we can mentally isolate ourselves for the time needed to complete the task, even a tidy and clean desk helps us relax!

  • Create A Mental Cue

Our mind and body need a kind of signal that tells the process is starting. For instance, we can take a deep breath, or straighten the spinal column, make circles with the shoulders, crack the fingers, massage the neck. Anything else will work as long as is the same thing each time we want to get into the flow state. Over time, this will help us create a mental cue for our brain. The brain will be ready to enter the flow state. 

When we finally manage to enter this state, we will have achieved happiness, meant as profound satisfaction, and we will have managed to live with awareness and meaning. It is a long journey, but I am sure we must do it for ourselves and our loved ones.

I have already set out on the journey… will you do it too?

Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”
(Lao Tzu)

Your first step is to book your Free Workshop Here

BIBLIOGRAPHY:
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience’ by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

Why Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

spial-staris-Photo by Cosmin Paduraru

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. (A. Einstein)

Every time you are engaged in your daily routine, the brain uses just a few neurons to analyze the situation; it already knows what to expect and how to react. You feel comfortable and safe. 

In this state, the brain works according to a principle of efficiency: it is what we call the comfort zone.

In different circumstances, imagine that you are facing a brand-new experience. In this state, the brain mobilizes all its resources to analyze and manage the unusual situation. 

This general mobilization requires more energy, and you know that learning something new is very tiring. Your built-in consumption detector activates instantly, and you start to feel uncomfortable, sometimes even frightened.

The principle of efficiency explains why people tend to prefer the company of like-minded people, and why they prefer to avoid new acquaintances, or why they feel uncomfortable in their company.

It is easier and less energy-consuming. Maintaining the status quo is energy efficient, yet it can also be destructive!

Most of our inner conflicts arise from an aversion to change. To give an explanation that justifies this internal quarrel, people continue to visualize the same frightening fantasies in their minds. This attitude forces the brain to continue to produce the same chemicals that trigger fear.

FEAR

We are prey to so many fears; each person has their own. The fears are various and distinct because they lay on subjective perceptions; they do not represent reality! Some people are terrified of snakes, but others love them like children. Some are terrified of taking a plane and others jump from 13.000 feet with a parachute. These are our emotions when our mind deciphers external situations; they are not real conditions.

One of the most common fears is public speaking. The perceived threat is mental, not physical. Nobody dies from talking to a group of people! Nevertheless, the fear you perceive is real and can be so intense that it can paralyze you. Even years later, when we forget that episode, our body still remembers and promptly activates the same response every time we face a similar situation. And each time it’s a little bit worse than the previous one.

Fear is an entity hidden within us, growing with the years, and it dominates our actions if we do not take action to face it.

If we do not learn to analyze our feelings and understand our fears, we will remain paralyzed; we will live in an invisible cage for the rest of our lives. And this will lead us to a feeling of deep dissatisfaction and, without even realizing it, we will feel like broken. A life safe but trapped in the comfort zone is, in fact, an unlived life. This thought is terrifying.

How to get out of the invisible cage

Do you want to know how to start making a real difference in your life? Here are some tips.

First, you have to learn to ask yourself questions. Too often, we project outward, and we believe that the external situation affects our mood. It doesn’t. We have to learn to look inside ourselves; we will find many answers there, some of them very unexpected.

What to ask:

  • What don’t you like about your life now? You need to identify it accurately and concretely.
  • What do you want to be different for you?
  • Who or what is stopping you from achieving your goal?
  • What will you feel if you leave your comfort zone: Fear? Distress? Anxiety?
  • Imagine yourself in 10 years: You haven’t changed anything, and the routine is the same as it is now: Do you like this idea? How do you feel?

What to do:

  • Be yourself
    Avoid compromising with yourself and others all the times. Most importantly, do you know who you are? Listen to your inner voice and follow it, always trying to be consistent with your desires and dreams.
  • Small steps
    Start making small changes in your routine: change supermarket, accept an invitation to a dinner with new people, sign up for an art course, or photography, or digital marketing, for example. Small changes in your daily routine trigger the process and train your mind.
  • Face the shadow zone
    That’s the most crucial task, but we don’t want to do it because it scares us. It is not easy, and it is not compulsory. Discover the courage! To face your fears is to meet the demon inside yourself.
  • Develop willpower
    You have to use and exercise your mind, that’s its function! Sometimes it takes great determination and great willpower to carry out the transformation we have decided to do. Start from the brain.
  • Joyfully and lovingly
    Everything you do, you must do with kindness and love for yourself. Empower your thoughts with harmony and joy, avoid forcing yourself or humiliating yourself, but take actions with the firm intention to transform your life for the better.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. (Neal Donald Walsch)

Once you open the invisible cage you’ve built yourself; you’ll have experiences you never imagined you’d have.

You’ll be able to achieve your potential. You will discover your talent and will get the chance of making it available to others.

You will feel more fulfilled; you will increase your self-esteem and inner strength. You will realize that you are proceeding on your journey intensely.

Start living!

Take action today and claim your Free Video Series to learn new skills and improve yourself.  

BIBLIOGRAPHY:
NPL, Richard Bandler, Owen Fitzpatrick